🌍 Don’t tell me to “pause and breathe”

She wanted to be composed. Be confident and assertive, and show her boss that she could handle it.

But instead she heard herself saying “I’m not sure this is a good idea, but … “

Cringe.

She did it again.

I wonder how many of us do this. We know we’re capable. But then those moments come - the meeting we need to lead; the presentation we need to give; the interview we’re invited to … And it feels like it all disappears. In a flash. Right when it matters most.

But: Why do we do this?

You’re missing the gap - the gap between stimulus and response.

That gap when the automatic script kicks in. That script that says things like “I’m not the expert here, but … ” or “I’m not sure, but … “

When we’re under pressure, the amygdala shuts down the pre-frontal cortex. And you need the pre-frontal cortex to think clearly. In stressful moments, your brain just doesn’t think straight.

Most advice will tell you to “just pause.”

To stop the immediate impulse. Take a breath and proceed with intention.

It's true. Technically. But impossible to implement on the spot.

Because your body reacts faster than you can think.

In 0.3 of a second, you have the impulse to act. And in 0.5 of a second, you act. That means: You have 0.2 of a second to interrupt and change that automatic reaction.

That’s not a “just pause” moment. It’s an automatic reaction problem.

Your body has automatic responses stored and readily available. And all those scripts that you want to kick in the b**? They get activated when you encounter a stressful situation. It’s just your body protecting you.

But it limits you. You can’t commit to a new path or change your behaviour with outdated scripts.

So, what’s the solution?

You can’t out-think this IN THE MOMENT. You have to train your brain B E F O R E the moment comes.

If you train your brain to slow down overall and build presence and awareness into your daily life, your brain can access a new script before the pressure hits.

You can learn to extend the 0.5 seconds. And choose a different way to show up.

How? Through consistent, small daily practices - what I call mini-brain-breaks.

Longer meditation sessions offer benefits like relaxation and focus.

But short brain breaks are what you need to change those scripts.

That client I talked about at the beginning?

Well, she now
… Speaks with calm composure instead of stumbling or rushing.
… Navigates tense conversations without being triggered.
… Listens deeply and responds thoughtfully.

She's no longer coming out of meetings wishing she had done things differently.

In her words: “This is a different ballgame. You can really see a shift in your mindset, which leads to a shift in your behaviour, which leads to a shift in how other people interact with you too.”

This stuff works. I see it in my coaching clients daily.

Want to know how it's done?

Here’s the protocol you can start right now.

I teach it in week 1 of my Your Transformation Coaching programme, and for many clients, just week 1 is the game-changer.

Step 1: Choose a 2-minute mini-brain-break that feels good to you.

A mini-brain-break brings you back to your body, i.e. your senses. Choose from any of the following:

Focus on breath. E.g. focus on the breath coming in and out of your nose.
Focus on sounds. E.g. focus on one sound far away.
Focus on touch. E.g. touch and feel the clothing on your body, or the seat you’re on.
Focus on taste. Eg. taste your morning coffee, food..

Set a timer. Just 2 minutes. That’s enough for a mini-break.

To make it easier, you can try my guided audio “Breath”. (on soundcloud)

Step 2: Do this 4-6x throughout your day.

That's the critical bit: Spread them out during the day.

If I were to devise a protocol for you, it would look like this:

Right after getting up.
While grabbing your mid-morning coffee
Before you sit down for lunch.
Before the 3 pm meeting.
After closing the laptop at night (or before coming home).
Before going to bed.

Step 3: Stick with it for six weeks (as a start).

This is a practice. Repeating the behaviour reinforces the neural pathways associated with your brain being in the moment. You start to notice the script before it kicks in. And you learn to pause, because you trained your body and brain how to do this through your daily practice.

Yes, this is just one part of my Your Transformation coaching journey. But for many of my clients, that alone is the most powerful part.

You don’t have to wait.

You can try it today.

"Damn, this needs some dedication."

Yup, I didn't promise you an overnight, instant, how-to fix. You wouldn't lift a 100kg barbell weight without any training, would you?

You can train your brain to 'pause', so you can speak with confidence and nail that interview or presentation.

Will you give it a go?

Best,
Simone

P.S.: And if you’re curious about how my Your Transformation coaching journey could help you change old patterns, clarify your next chapter, and lead more calmly and confidently, just reply. I’ll explain how it works. And if you want to hear what clients say about this work, you can listen here.

Psst! If you forgot why you're hearing from me, Simone Anzböck, it's because you checked out my services, events or resources; or signed up on my website, simoneanzboeck.com

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