Money only comes to those who work hard.
There won't be enough money.
If I have money, others will have less.
These are some of my money beliefs I uncovered in the last three years.
My parents were farmers. Working every single waking hour on the farm. As children, we missed nothing when we were little. Still, the lack of money was the unspoken energy around our dinner table. Unconsciously I was always taught to save money and not spend it. It didn't need much saying that my parents worked very hard to make ends meet for the farm and the two small children they had.
We can do well in life even with unhelpful money scripts.
I never lacked anything.
I didn't pay attention to my money scripts or think anything wrong when worrying about my bank account balance.
Until I hit the wall when I moved to Myanmar for my partner.
I earned a good salary before the move, but I gave up my full-time job to start this new chapter together. It was the first time I was financially dependent on someone else. And, oh boy, did this cause havoc. I wasn't used to not earning my own income.
I started questioning my worth.
That, in turn, drove me to look for jobs, although I didn't want to "just" find another job. My money scripts were causing me lots of anxiety, which led me to consider options I didn’t even like, e.g., taking a full-time job.
It took a lot of introspection not to take the jobs (vs. the alternative: figure out what I really want to do). The money scrips were loud and harsh. It was the catalyst of re-wiring my attitude and relationship with money. (and it’s not finished: I still rewire my money scripts to build a business without anxiety and lack.)
We all have money scripts. Yours might be different from mine. Your money scripts might not interfere massively with your day-to-day life. They tend to remain unconscious until …
… we lose our jobs unexpectedly.
… we decide to go freelance and give up the monthly paycheck.
… we take up a mortgage to buy a house for our family.
… we want to make a career change but feel we can't because of financial concerns.
What’s your money script?
There are not many studies on the psychology of money, but I found one article that decodes 4 money scripts.
(Like other assessment theories, humans are complex and don't fall into one "box". These 4 categories are rarely the 100% truth, and so will be your assessment result. However, they can provide a framework for reflecting on our attitude toward money and why we hold certain subconscious beliefs.)
If you want to become more conscious of how money runs your life, then I invite you to spend 30 minutes diving into the four types of money scripts. This reflection can help you change any mindset that may not serve you well financially and/or emotionally.
- Money avoidance is believing that money is wrong or that you don't deserve money. Individuals with this belief tend to avoid thinking about money (e.g., not dealing with bills or their financial situation).
- Money worship is the belief that money is associated with freedom and happiness. The more money you have, the better your life will always be. Individuals with this belief might have workaholic tendencies and/or like to spend to gain more “stuff.”
- Money status is the belief that financial status determines one's status in society. Individuals with this belief might be competitive, which can result in overspending to appear as being "better off" than others.
- Money vigilance is the belief that money should be saved, not spent. Individuals with this money script often experience excessive wariness or anxiety about their financial future, and might not spend money easily.
Can you recognise your dominant belief? If this is difficult based on the above, I found a
free PDF of the article with a self-assessment test on page 9 of the document.
How can you develop a more balanced mindset around money?
A balanced money mindset involves a healthy relationship with money. Individuals with a balanced relationship with money see it as a tool for achieving their goals and priorities. They understand the importance of both saving and spending wisely. They have a good, realistic view of their financial situation. Money doesn't define their self-worth or control their lives.
And what this involves depends on your type. Here is a start.
- Money avoidance: Start looking at your financial situation. Make it a more active part of your life. Focus on the positive aspects of money, e.g., by reading more about people who do good with money.
- Money worship: Make your money work positively, such as donating to a charitable cause you believe in. Re-think your focus on accumulating more money by changing your emphasis on the happiness you gain in experiences, hobbies or satisfying personal relationships.
- Money status: Rewrite the script that led you to associate wealth with status. You might need to consider where that association comes from and replace it with a more helpful script.
- Money vigilance: Set a "fun money" budget. Spend some money on something ridiculous. Yep! This is a challenging assignment for the money vigilant.
If you realise that your money scripts are holding you back from taking that next career step, I invite you to contact me. In coaching, I support my clients in building their capacity and skills to bring about a change they've often thought very long and hard about. That involves rewiring many unhelpful scripts, including those around money.
Until next time,
Simone