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My pixel phone shows 21:11. My partner is listening to an episode of The Truth podcast next door. My eyes are glassy. I want to shut my computer and call it a day.
But no. I've promised myself that I will study for an hour for a coaching credential exam I'm taking on 18 October.
Now, you might wonder if I pushed myself that late. When I'm fatigued, I won't absorb much.
You're partly right. But I have a reason ā¦.
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Itās the free monthly career Q&A tomorrow, Thursday 3 October. There's still time to join me. Details & RSVP here.
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I'm an obliger in Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies framework: "To meet inner expectations, obligers must create outer accountability - and it must be the right kind of accountability."
Give me a deadline, and I meet it.
But the problem with this exam? I could postpone it. There's no external reason why I need to take the exam on 18 October ā or at all, for that matter. No one is going to come and hold me accountable.
When I discussed this with my partner, he couldn't understand why I would postpone or procrastinate on something I wanted to do. He said, "I do what I say I do."
And he does. He's been doing yoga without fail every morning between 7 and 8 as long as we've been together. And that's eight
years.
While I was reflecting on my partnerās words and the way he shows up for himself, a thought hit me:
What if the more my partner shows up on the yoga mat, the more he builds 'a mental muscle' to show up in other areas, too?
Yes, as an obliger, I thrive on external accountability. I have some structures in place and can probably use more.
But for those last-mile things that I canāt get external accountability
for ā¦. Can I build "mental muscle" to honour my word more often?
Back to my sleepy eyes at 9 pm last night.
I sat down, dug into one workbook and stuck with it for one hour. I did make some progress in my studies, albeit slowly.
But the real point was Showing up and keeping my word. I wanted to end the day doing what I said I'd do - building my āmental muscleā to meet that exam deadline of 18 October.
So, maybe we can build muscle to show up for ourselves? (ask me how this experiment is going in half a year!)
What do you think? Can one build āa mental muscleā equivalent to external accountability? What is your experience with internal vs external accountability?
I'm genuinely interested in hearing your perspective,
Simone
P.S: If you are interested in the four tendencies, this podcast episode dives into them.
P.P.S: And the irony is not lost on me that I just created external accountability by telling all of you of my exam on the 18th 😊
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3 quick reads Events: - Join Career Sparks - a free coaching Q&A for international professionals in impact. Next date: Tomorrow, 3 October. Whether itās a live, concrete issue or the inkling of a thought for a career transition, Join me on the first Thursday of the month for a free, 60-minute call to get your questions answered. RSVP
here.
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And whenever you're ready, book your free 45-minute coaching discovery call. We'll discuss your biggest challenge and clarify what overcoming that would look like. Then, if we're the right fit, we plan out your bespoke coaching journey. No strings attached.
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Psst! If you forgot why you're hearing from me, Simone Anzbƶck, it's because you checked out my services, events or resources; or signed up on my website, simoneanzboeck.com | Love this email? Why not tell a friend? | If you don't want these emails anymore, you can unsubscribe. | trading as
Prosper Abroad Limited, 1 Henbury Road, Bristol, BS9 3HQ, United Kingdom
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