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Public speaking. Interviews. High-stakes conversations.
It's easy to get caught up in trying to remember your notes, what you wanted to say, include every possible example and say the right things, while also being present and focused.
Most people focus on what to say.
But what good is a perfect script if your body freezes? If your nervous system hijacks your voice? I see it all the time. So we don't just prepare the words. We prepare the self.
Just last week, I worked with a client who stepped into a new leadership role and was tasked with moderating a public panel event, for the first time.
Most people have "stage nerves". They are normal. I actually think that's good thing. It shows you care about doing well.
But we don't want our nervous system to go into overdrive, and to prevent us from thinking clearly, speaking calmly, and bringing all that you have prepared into the room or on stage.
Here are my 7 tips. This is how I prepare for high-stakes situations, and how I help my clients do the same.
Phase 1 : Train your body and mind to perform under pressure (ongoing practice)
Yes, it's not just how you show up on the day. There are many things you can do every day to be in the best place to perform well. There are skills you can train ahead of time, so your body and brain know what to do under pressure.
If you don't believe in yourself, how will others? Self-belief is different to confidence. In fact, I am convinced that most of us struggle with self-belief. But it can be cultivated. I've an article on this if you're interested.
2. Take mini brain breaks
When you're calm, you can respond, not react. Unfortunately, your body has an impulse to react in 0.3 seconds. And in 0.5 of a second, you act. That gives you 0.2 of a second to interrupt and change that automatic reaction.
I teach clients a practice I call mini brain-breaks to do exactly this.
I explained this practice in my last newsletter from 18 June.
Training your brain to take those mini brain breaks makes it more likely that your brain stays calm under pressure and accesses your best thinking.
Phase 2 : Get strategic: work with your patterns, not against them (1-2 weeks before the event)
Learn how your inner critic shows up of this specific event. Is it a judging voice? Or a hyper-achieving voice? A pleaser voice? If you have a lot of loud, negative voices in your head, it's time to dial up the positive, supportive voices instead.
A simple way to do this:
- Take the Saboteur test by Positive Intelligence (I'm a certified coach in the methodology).
- Read the analysis for your top 2 Saboteurs.
- Use this short reflection guide to reframe
4. Manage your neurochemistry
Any thought patterns and emotions will show up in the body. But also: we can use our body to change our predominant thought patterns. In fact, research has shown that our 'chemical DNA' can be mapped to our predominant personality types, showing that specific exercises is beneficial for specific personality types.
For example, if you have a "drive for results" personality (DISC type "red"), you might be high in testosterone on your chemical DNA >> such people benefit from exercises that boost oxytocin (the chemical for belonging). On the other hand, if you are more of a person that reticent in debates and retreats (DISC type "green"), you might benefit from actually increasing testosterone and dopamine.
Knowing what your coping mechanism is under pressure can give you an indication of the counter-strategy. If you're interested in learning more about this, let me know, and I can gather more information for a future newsletter.
5. Visualise the room/situation.
Be in the situation in your mind. Picture the space, the people, the questions. Feel yourself calm, grounded, and responsive. This isn't just woo woo, it's neuroscience. The visual cortex is tightly linked with dopamine release. Visualisation is an excellent way to prepare the brain to feel at home when the time comes.
Phase 3 - Show up calm, clear and grounded (on the day)
6. Reset your body as often as you need.
Don't arrive breathless or mentally overloaded. Create a quiet moment beforehand.
Take a mini-brain break. (see #2).
Do a quick full-body shake out to disperse your cortisol from your body. This helps if you feel feel a lot of nerves, feel on edge, and general anxious before the event. This guy demonstrates how it's done.
7. Have a mantra on repeat.
What you think and say to yourself creates the bodily state.
It can be as simple as "I got this." or "I can do this."
Repeating a simple mantra can help you drown out any negative thoughts that might otherwise erode your confidence and self-belief in the moment.
Phase 4 - Let it go. Regroup (after the event)
Technically, not a preparation tip, but a bonus tip nonetheless.
8. Let it go. It's just a point.
Once it's over, remember Roger Federer's speech at Dartmouth:
"It's just a point. When you play a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world. But when it is behind you, it is behind you. This mindset is important because it frees you to commit to the next point, and the next point after that. With intensity, clarity and focus."
(watch his full speech from minute 14)
What's worked for you in high-stakes moments? I'd love to include them in a future newsletter.
Simone
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And whenever you're ready, book your free 45-minute coaching discovery call.
We'll discuss your biggest challenge and clarify what overcoming that would look like. Then, if we're the right fit, we plan out your bespoke coaching journey. No strings attached.
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